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Betony Vernon Unicorn Butt Plug – $3,475

Now, I could begin this section with a Harry Potter-inspired joke along the lines of, “I knew that Ron Weasley was a little too distressed when the Whomping Willow broke his Unicorn-hair-core wand during his second year at Hogwarts,” but that would be incredibly distasteful. It would also be irrelevant since, despite the name, “this beautifully crafted butt plug is made out of silver and horses [sic] mane.” I mean, seriously? Horse mane? What happened to truth in advertising! Betony Vernon has clearly lost his way.

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