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Apparently Women Love This 13-Year-Old Skateboarder Named Baby Scumbag

Steven Fernandez, aka Baby Scumbag, is just a normal 13-year-old skater from a bad neighborhood in LA. A normal 13-year-old skater who’s sponsored by a bunch of companies, has 38,000 subscribers onFacebook and 140,000 followers onInstagram, and gets photographed with guns and sexy (adult) women. He’s been skating since he was nine (here’s a video of him at 11), but unlike other absurdly talented kids likeRene Serrano and Evan Doherty, he’s developed a whole persona that revolves around trying to get girls and eating junk food (again: typical 13-year-old). It’s hard to tell how much of that is him putting on an act and how much of that is real, but either way, young Stephen knows more about what people on the internet like than all the “social media gurus” two and three times his age put together. I called him to ask what he wants to be when he grows up.

VICE: Hey, Steven how’s it going? I didn’t force you to miss school, right?

Baby Scumbag: Hey, VICE lady. Just chillin’. Just got home from school. Got out a little early.

You like school, or what?
Yeah, school is cool, but it’s kind of tough out here in poverty. You see a lot bad stuff around here, like gang-related stuff, drugs. I live in Compton, California. The border of South Central.

So, you’re super popular at school, right?
Nah, I’m just a normal kid going to school. An average teenager.

How did you get start getting sponsored?
Well it all started when I had posted a video of skateboarding, and people actually enjoyed watching the video. As I started making more videos, I started getting more sponsors as well.

What’s a typical day in the life of Baby Scumbag?
Hang out at school, homework, skateboarding, maybe even go film. And a little masturbation.

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The whole "everyone should learn programming" meme has gotten so out of control that the mayor of New York City actually vowed to learn to code in 2012.

Bloomberg-vows-to-code

A noble gesture to garner the NYC tech community vote, for sure, but if the mayor of New York City actually needs to sling JavaScript code to do his job, something is deeply, horribly, terribly wrong with politics in the state of New York. Even if Mr. Bloomberg did "learn to code", with apologies to Adam Vandenberg, I expect we'd end up with this:

10 PRINT "I AM MAYOR"
20 GOTO 10

Fortunately, the odds of this technological flight of fancy happening – even in jest – are zero, and for good reason: the mayor of New York City will hopefully spend his time doing the job taxpayers paid him to do instead. According to the Office of the Mayor home page, that means working on absenteeism programs for schools, public transit improvements, the 2013 city budget, and … do I really need to go on?

To those who argue programming is an essential skill we should be teaching our children, right up there with reading, writing, and arithmetic: can you explain to me how Michael Bloomberg would be better at his day to day job of leading the largest city in the USA if he woke up one morning as a crack Java coder? It is obvious to me how being a skilled reader, a skilled writer, and at least high school level math are fundamental to performing the job of a politician. Or at any job, for that matter. But understanding variables and functions, pointers and recursion? I can't see it.

Look, I love programming. I also believe programming is important … in the right context, for some people. But so are a lot of skills. I would no more urge everyone to learn programming than I would urge everyone to learn plumbing. That'd be ridiculous, right?

Advice-for-plumbers

The "everyone should learn to code" movement isn't just wrong because it falsely equates coding with essential life skills like reading, writing, and math. I wish. It is wrong in so many other ways.

  • It assumes that more code in the world is an inherently desirable thing. In my thirty year career as a programmer, I have found this … not to be the case. Should you learn to write code? No, I can't get behind that. You should be learning to write as little code as possible. Ideally none.
  • It assumes that coding is the goal. Software developers tend to be software addicts who think their job is to write code. But it's not. Their job is to solve problems. Don't celebrate the creation of code, celebrate the creation of solutions. We have way too many coders addicted to doing just one more line of code already.
  • It puts the method before the problem. Before you go rushing out to learn to code, figure out what your problem actually is. Do you even have a problem? Can you explain it to others in a way they can understand? Have you researched the problem, and its possible solutions, deeply? Does coding solve that problem? Are you sure?
  • It assumes that adding naive, novice, not-even-sure-they-like-this-whole-programming-thing coders to the workforce is a net positive for the world. I guess that's true if you consider that one bad programmer can easily create two new jobs a year. And for that matter, most people who already call themselves programmers can't even code, so please pardon my skepticism of the sentiment that "everyone can learn to code".
  • It implies that there's a thin, easily permeable membrane between learning to program and getting paid to program professionally. Just look at these new programmers who got offered jobs at an average salary of $79k/year after attending a mere two and a half month bootcamp! Maybe you too can teach yourself Perl in 24 hours! While I love that programming is an egalitarian field where degrees and certifications are irrelevant in the face of experience, you still gotta put in your ten thousand hours like the rest of us.

I suppose I can support learning a tiny bit about programming just so you can recognize what code is, and when code might be an appropriate way to approach a problem you have. But I can also recognize plumbing problems when I see them without any particular training in the area. The general populace (and its political leadership) could probably benefit most of all from a basic understanding of how computers, and the Internet, work. Being able to get around on the Internet is becoming a basic life skill, and we should be worried about fixing that first and most of all, before we start jumping all the way into code.

Please don't advocate learning to code just for the sake of learning how to code. Or worse, because of the fat paychecks. Instead, I humbly suggest that we spend our time learning how to …

  • Research voraciously, and understand how the things around us work at a basic level.
  • Communicate effectively with other human beings.

These are skills that extend far beyond mere coding and will help you in every aspect of your life.

[advertisement] How are you showing off your awesome? Create a Stack Overflow Careers profile and show off all of your hard work from Stack Overflow, Github, and virtually every other coding site. Who knows, you might even get recruited for a great new position!

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High Vaultage.pngAside from the charming pixels, High Vaultage didn't immediately draw me in, appearing like an ordinary track-and-field title. Then my character vaulted hundreds of feet into the air, grabbing coins, eating junk food, hitching rides from birds and whales, and bouncing off balloons until I soared above the clouds and glimpsed the greater galaxy. Oh, and each time I collected all the crayon colors, I earned a magical rainbow excretion that elevated me higher still.

Ostrich Banditos' High Vaultage is an adrenaline rush of gameplay accompanied by an energizing musical loop. Controls are simple enough: I used the arrows to move and the space bar to vault and fart for propulsion. The trick to a high vault (which may not be apparent) is to press the space bar twice: once to anchor the pole to the ground and once more to release the tension.

My stomach tightened every time I began a long descent and ran out of gas, causing me to flail slightly right and left in the hopes of eating some junk to boost my bowels. In the end, I don't think I've scored well enough to win the high score competition and get my "ugly mug" in High Vaultage or the team's next game. Maybe you will do better!

Play High Vaultage on Kongregate and Newgrounds now (or check out the spoilerific video after the jump to see the game in action.)

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About

[10] Guy (also known as “Really High Guy” and “Stoner Stanley”) is an advice animal image macro series featuring a photo of a young man who appears to be under the influence of marijuana. The captions typically portray stereotypical stoner behavior, similar to Stoner Dog, such as giving invalid answers to misunderstood questions and craving junk food.

Origin

On November 25th, 2011, Redditor randomdave posted a photo of a red-faced young man (shown left) to the marijuana enthusiast r/trees subreddit titled “Being at a [10] is not always pretty.”[10] The same day, the picture was submitted by redditor Ahahaha__10 with the caption “Texts the person next to them / ‘I want hopsital’” (shown right) in a post titled “The happened to a friend of mine on his first ever bong rip.”[1]

Etymology of [10]

The name is derived from the scoring system used by members of the r/trees[16] subreddit, also known as “ents”, that indicates the relative level of intoxication with [1] being the lowest and [10] being the highest.

Spread

Shortly after Redditor Ahahaha__10 submitted the first image macro, Redditor vivalocaaa created a Quickmeme[3] page using the photo called “[10] Guy.” On November 30th, 2011, a post titled “10 Guy ordering a cheeseburger” reached the front page of Reddit, accumulating over 3,000 up votes within 6 days.

On December 2nd, compilations of “Really High Guy” examples were posted to the Body Building[6] forums and the Internet humor site BuzzFeed.[7] On December 5th, a slideshow of 10 Guy image macros was posted to the media hosting site Sharenator[8] titled “High High Schooler.” On March 31st, 2012, additional photos of 10 Guy surfaced on the “Stoner Comics”[12] Tumblr blog.

On April 6th, 2012, several examples were posted to the Internet humor site Ebaumsworld[11] by user yzman87.

The meme continued to spread on sites like FunnyJunk[13], Memebase[15] and Tumblr under the tags “10 guy”[4] and “really high guy.”[9] As of April 20th, 2012, the Quickmeme page has over 10,400 submissions and a Facebook[14] page for “10 Guy” has 133 likes.

Notable Examples

[10] Keanu

The face of 10 Guy has been photoshopped into the Conspiracy Keanu template.

Search Interest

Search query volume for “10 guy” rose in November of 2011, the same month the images began circulating on Reddit.

External References

[1] Reddit – The happened to a friend of mine on his first ever bong rip

[2] Reddit – 10 Guy returns, with food on his smoked out mind

[3] Quickmeme – 10 Guy

[4] Tumblr – 10 Guy

[5] Reddit – 10 Guy ordering a cheeseburger

[6] Body Building Forum – Really High Guy Meme

[7] BuzzFeed – Best Of The Really High Guy Meme

[8] Sharenator – High High Schooler

[9] Tumblr – really high guy

[10] Reddit – Being at a [10] is not always pretty

[11] Ebaumsworld – 10 Guy

[12] Tumblr – 10 Guy

[13] FunnyJunk – 10 guy=

[14] Facebook – 10 guy

[15] Memebase – high

[16] Reddit – /r/trees

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ANGER

Eve Online’s player base is currently ANGRY. The above image is of a riot that took place this Friday in Jita, one of the virtual universe’s biggest trading hubs, and this thread on the official forums is keeping track of all the subscriptions that have been cancelled in protest- some 4,500 so far.

Why all the rage? In short, CCP are dragging the game in a direction the players are deeply uncomfortable with. I know all this because I’ve just finished reading Eurogamer’s sterling coverage of what they’re calling the “crisis”, and you should too. You can read it here, or get yourself a taste after the jump.
(more…)

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